Top 8 Silly Things we Believed in as Kids

Childhood, what comes to mind when we encounter this word?
Oh the lavish 7th birthday party, everybody was there, your brothers and sisters, your cousins, your 2nd cousins, your uncle's secretly illegitimate child, your neighbours, your dad's officemates (who were on a separate table drinking San Miguel pale pilsen), your Tito Jun who just came home from Saudi and bought you your first bicycle. And of course your playmates and classmates who just stared with so much envy, as people showered you with all the attention and gifts a kid could ever wish for. Oh, and did I mention the boyoyong clown's were there as well?

And while, everybody chomped down on the hotdog-marshmallow cocktail (pulled out from a cabbage) and the gourmet like spaghetti with the oversized hotdogs and ketchup sauce, everybody stood still as you opened the gift from your mom and dad.

With so much excitement you held the box; it resembles the size of the toy you constantly pointed out at the toy store while you made parinig to your parents. The day was perfect. As you opened the box, you were so sure they got the message on the countless visits to Shoemart, and hope to find
The Transformers Constructicon set inside the huge box, only later on to find out that it was another colourful train set similar to the one you received the previous year.

And then you cry, and make dabog, with matching pounding hammer fists thrown towards the concrete (kind of how you would imagine Hulk Hogan would have done it). And then your parents felt bad, not only because your dad spent all of his much awaited 13th month pay on your party (and the gift), but more over, because all they wanted was the best for you, yet you never even said thank you.

But hey! What do you care you we're just a kid then. (sana na lang di nag mana sayo ang anak mo).

One of the few silly things we did as kids, which now give us something to laugh at, and appreciate our love ones much more. And here are more things to laugh at (ourselves) as we take a look back at...


The Top 8 Silly Things we Believed in as Kids

8. Kukunin ka ng Guard or Pulis
This is a classic tantrum ender, especially inside the shopping malls.
This was usually the threat of our loving parents every time we cry at a toy store because they can't afford the sega game gear we desperately wanted, or every time we horse around a public place and nakakhiya na kasi baka isipin ng ibang tao di ka kayang disiplinahin ng magulang mo, kaya bigla mo na lang maririnig "tama na yan! sige ka kukunin ka ng guard!". Maybe it's because of the guards' and policemen's taller physique and darker complexion, or perhaps their uniform of authority which made them scary for us.

Kung ito ba naman ang kukuha sayo na guard bakit hindi?

7. Kapag may sugat ka lalabas and kanin

They sure fooled me with this. I had an open wound, and with much terror I looked at it, gushing with blood, waiting for the rice to come-out, all this, while I was balling like a baby with matching hikbi (not sure if it was the pain of the wound, or the pananakot my elders did that made me cry); But one thing I remembered, they were all laughing while telling me this.
They say the logic behind it, is that, the wound is so severe that if you swallowed your food it would almost automatically exit out of your wound. Zoom in twenty years later, after 6 Saw movies, and countless seasons of CSI and House, never did I see an open wound with rice coming-out of it.




Jackie RICE - Related pa rin sa topic

 6. Plants will grow in your stomach if swallow any fruit seeds

I remember getting freaked out when I found out that banana's had seeds, imagine growing a banana tree inside a 5-year old's stomach! The reality was (or what was explained to me then by my sister), swallowing any fruit seed, especially a santol seed, would not only cause us to choke but also may possibly damage our digestive system. Nevertheless, seeds never really tasted good anyway. 

May buto din kami

5. Circumcision will make you taller, and make your voice manlier.

If this we're true, at 5'5'' and a shrieking voice, I'd let them take all the foreskin they can get just to grow 2-inches taller and a bit closer to a James Earl Jones voice. Sadly though, the reality behind this is that most circumcisions are done during puberty, thus hormonal changes are more evident. Sana pala nag cherifer na lang ako.

No need!

4. Pag namboso ka, magkakakuliti ka

In the pre-internet years, there were only three sources of "adult entertainment" 1) your uncle's secretly hidden playboy stash 2) your dad's taboo betamax video collection 3) Your neighbour. During these times, it was more of a thrill-seeking activity rather than a "stimulating" one. It may be associated with the likes of climbing over a bakod, stealing mangoes from the neighbours or nagpapahabol sa aso.  And much like the "kukunin ka ng guard" line, it served as a preventive measure to avoid getting a badge of shame in your face. In reality, it's just germs. Oh by the way, remember that person you made boso to? Yup, that was your maid then. Disgusting.

Hmmm...

3. WWF (WWE) was real

Oh yes, the World Wrestling Federation in the 90's provided countless hours of entertainment, and long hours of heated discussion, to the point that we would argue kung ano ang mas masakit Sharpshooter ni Bret Hart or Stone Cold Stunner ni Steve Austin, and we actually tried it ourselves, hangang mayroong iiyak at matatapos na ang laro.
WWE is dubbed as television's longest running soap opera, as the storylines are connected year-on-year. We passionately watched our heroes as they entered the ring with their flashy entrances and exciting finishing moves (yes, sinabayan ko din si The Rock, habang nag pe-people's elbow), we shared their sorrow as they get hit on the head with a steel chair by their opponent's manager (while the referee, surprisingly was not looking) and there after our heroes got robbed of their title belts. Later on we find out that it's a multi-million business, and our "heroes" become Hollywood stars and get beat-up in the UFC.
Seriously, did you think that the Undertaker after being buried alive would have the ability to appear 3-months later to another Wrestlemania? (I sure did)

Julio at Julia original cast



2. Nanganganak ang Kisses

Oh yes, the fragrance beads. We take out our pens and pencils form our pencil case, only to stuff it with the right amount of cotton so that our 5-peso per pack investment of kisses would have a home.
And with this home, we were led to believe that the beads do multiply (nanganganak). Up until now it's a mystery to me, but never the less it gave us something to "Take care" of during our younger years.
Who needs Farmville, when you have Kisses multiplying inside your pencil case.

Normal o Cesarian

1. Pag nag-aral ka ng mabuti, yayaman ka

Yes, I hear you laughing now (or probably raising your eyebrow). The constant pressure parent's put on their little ones just to get a shiny silver medal for Best in SIBIKA to show-off to their amigas and family reunions brought about this line. There are many versions of this as well, meron pang, pag di ka nag-aral mag tutulak ka ng kariton. While there are some truths to this, it's just fun to poke at the ironies this present; As it is common knowledge that some of the business moguls here and abroad didn't finish college (some even dropped-out of college). Now in our adult lives, we realize that being successful attributes to a lot of factors (and yes one of them is luck); nevertheless, studying hard and doing well in school would almost guarantee you a safe life, and is a great ticket to getting there.

Di nabanggit sa kin ang recession

*This blog has been plugged on air at 99.5RT show's The Disenchanted Kingdom -
and on Twitter.

Top 8 Suprisingly Attractive Looks and Traits We Find in Women.

Yes, we all have our type.

Be it the curvy morena bombshell, no not the natural morena,
but the one with golden brown tan na parang laging nasa boracay look, and she seems tired all day cause she's so laid back - with matching pungay ng mata, and just can't wait to go to the beach again...duuuudddeeee..

Or the classic mestiza with the rebonded hair, 
the one we always look forward to in the morning,

the one who always wears those sundresses and seems to be friendly with everyone, to the point that sometimes we may think that she likes us, but NO she's just nice to everyone.  (yes, we all have that office mate).


And of course if you lived in the 90's you would always lean towards the alice dixon and carmina villaruel type (tall and mestiza)


Or if you're teenage years were around the year 2000,

you'd love those chinita petite types.

 - - - think heart evangelista- john pratts years; not echo years - also, see Angel Locsin - Click days; where she was tomboy charlie.

And how can we forget the modern filipino man favorite

petite-payat, pero malaki ang boobs. (yes, that maui taylor did starch a lot of bed sheets)

Yes, we men ogle and celebrate (and in worse cases high-five)

at a centimeter length sight of a clevage, yet fail to notice the different hair-do that our seatmate took hours to arrange, just for you to notice and say something out of the ordinary other than "nandyan na ba si sir?".

enough about the obvious, the following is a list of...

8 Suprisingly Attractive Looks and Traits We Find in Women.



8. Speaks in a kolehiyala tone

Oh the kolehiyala, some men may find them annoying and down right irritating, but in reality our irritation is only brought about by the fact that we can't have them.
Her dad is a lawyer/businessman/government official/ and yes, will probably kill you if you touch his daughter - - oh yes, the makings of a 90's telenovela add to the kolehiyala girls' appeal.
Part of the attraction would be the possible sounds and phrases the kolehiyala would come up with once you get intimate with her. The "dah bah?" (di ba?) and "tuh-lah-gah?" (talaga?) would suddenly translate to more pleasing sounds only a kolehiyala could come up with.
And to top it all off, once we get along with your dad, we'd be able to ride one his benz's that goes "pot!pot!"

Russian Roulette,walang talo

7. The Labandera-look (swept-up pony tail)


A personal favorite, which i still couldn't fathom why.
Maybe we had a hot labendara growing-up, which i still have a hard time remembering who.
Or maybe it's just the fact that they seem to look like they just got out of bed, and everytime you see them your mind just starts going, boom chika wawa, like a scene from an 80's porno flick.
Be warned though, this look is all about balance.
- the labendara look will only work if you look polished from head to toe; thus should not be paired with an oversized shirt or PJ's,
otherwise you'd look like, well... a labandera.



Pagbilang ng Sampu naka-tago na kayo


6. Needy Girls - Damsel in Distress

These days the number of men who know how to change a tire or even use a saw are getting smaller by the minute, and the number of independent women (que destiny's child's song) are rapdily increasing. Women nowadays are driving, they are heads of our departments, chugging down 3 bottles of red horse beer, kicking-out their husbands on the house they (women) bought - - yes, while singing beyonce's irreplaceble.
So, with every single moment that we men are needed, we can't help but feel good about ourselves. Whether, it's opening a bottle of coke, helping you move, or a shoulder to cry on because your BF beat you up for the Nth time, we just can't help but gravitate towards you, and make us feel the Chivalrous man that we have become.

Tahan na

5. NO Make-Up


Well, wears NONE to LIGHT make-up perhaps.
This is probably not applicable to most women, but if you already have great skin and would just be spending a regular day in the office or at school, try wearing as little make up as possible (see. face powder). Yes, that shocking red lipstick looks hot on your bestfriend (the one you always secretly compete with), that's why you got a pink one instead, but hey pink lipstick is not for everyone.
Try lipgloss instead, for that I-just-got-of-a-fiesta-and-ate-a-whole-plate-of-lechon-for-myself look.
Simply put, we'd prefer our luxury cars stock and our steaks with as little seasoning as possible.

No Comment; mahirap na

4. Boy Shorts and Tank Top


There was a time when we went crazy over the sight of a thong peeking at the waistline, or the overly laced matching lingerie with the straps connecting the stockings to the panties.
Now, the prefered choice of ladies underwear are the boy shorts and tank top ensemble. It's probably the teenage girl look that brings us back to our adolescence, or perhaps the boy shorts that makes any flat butt-ed girl seem j-lo-ish.

I used to have one this long

3. The Mataray


Yes, most of the time if you're mataray, you're probably the last person they would like to talk to, as you just stress everyone out even for the smallest reasons (say, having the waiter accidentaly bring you toyo instead of patis). But secretly, when the boys have their drinking sessions you never fail to make it on the "it" girls list.
Maybe it's your pagsusungit that reminds us of our elementary school teachers and brings us back to our navy blue shorts wearing days; or perhaps the relentless challenge ala taming of the schrew.

aprub kay bossing!

2. Pony Tail and Cap look


This one is a classic. It brings you back to the Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova days of tennis. Maybe it's the sporty look that's says "hey i'm fun and outgoing!" but still manage to be lady like with the neatness of the ponytail.
Just in time for the summer ladies!
So, go now and borrow your tito jun's 1990's chicago bulls baseball cap and get that yellow rubber band and put it all together.
But seriously, think more of the look below:

dito na me, wer na u?

1. Jeans and White Top

Probably the safest and perhaps sexiest get-up the modern day filipina can wear - - -  the skinny (or low rise) jeans with matching white spandex blouse or tanktop. It's simple, most of you girls have this in your closet, if not, it's easy to find and very affordable.
Reasons why we like this - -  
you look comfortable and confident in it;
it's neat,
it's simple,
it's not too intimidating and makes you approchable, 
it's the modern day baro't saya.
Things to consider though, jeans should fit perfectly, hindi yung mag mumukha kayong suman, and probably a darker wash. As for the shirt, fabric should be desirable to touch, white should be white (not yellowish white), and of course ironed.
Try pairing this with the cap and pony tail look and you're all set!

 

Ikaw na te'!


Just remember, the whole context of this is keeping it simple and not over-doing things.
And before you forget, Smile. you'd never know if mang boy is looking at you.

Watch out next Wednesday for a New Top 8!